shy

shut up

in the center of my mind (my heart)
wherein i see, smell, taste, hear, feel (you)
thoughts come rushing through (and through)
jumbled and chaotic
(where are you?)
a riotous clash (altogether, noise, now.)
thoughts (of your eyes seeing)
smells (of your body breathing)
songs (of your smile singing)
poems (of your hands touching me)

a heart beat
(faster)(now slower)

and in this mass of distractions
(for it is of you i wish to dream)
these careful (dangerous) worlds slip in...

'he will never love you this way'

the silence thereafter (lasts only a short while)
while the rubble of this love (is cleared away)
it lets the stillness tell me

someday (maybe today)
this unrequited love (or that)

will tear me
(into pieces.)
shy

suck

ever feel like you miss every opportunity in the world?
or that everyone gets WAY better opportunities than you do?

or that people arent on your side?
or that you will never ever know what you want to do with your life?
or that IF you finally figure out what you want to do, you know you wont be able to do it?


this week sucks.
and its only monday.

my life, my dreams, and my reality are kind of depressing me right now.

not you nate, don't worry.

just everything else.

wow.
can it be MY time now?
shy

(no subject)

uhh by the way...
i tag....

michelle, imani, louie and katherine
and uhhh.

your mom...
cause i dont have any more friends that update their journals.
shy

dammit harlot

1. i don't like being tagged. it reminds me of being touched. in bad places.
2. i miss my kittens because they live in amherst.
3. i am moving to chicago in june. for REAL.
4. once in chicago, i will become a rockstar.
5. i love the smell of old spice high endurance orignal scent.
6. i've made out with more people that i will ever be able to remember.
7. about an 1/8th of them are girls.
8. i am currently sleeping in my basement on a mattress on the floor.
9. my room is being redone, it should be finished by the time i move away.
10. i am now halfway through this thing. (but you probably know that)
11. i want to lose 30 lbs. but i'm too lazy to excercise.
12. i hate waking up.
13. i have the most massive crush ever on nate crawford.
14. sometimes he likes me too.
15. i've read all 6 harry potter books AT LEAST 3 times each.
16. i have a completely unnatural obsession with neil diamond.
17. my next tattoo will be an e.e. cummings quote on my feets.
18. i'm REALLY hungry right now. (30 lbs. god dammit)
19. i ABHOR ranch dressing.
20. if popeye were real, we would TOTALLY bond over our mutual love for spinach.
shy

uh....like, YAR and stuff?

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